Showing Up for Yourself First — Why Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Woman reading a book outdoors.

The week before Christmas, illness moved through our house. I know we weren’t alone—many people in my close circle experienced something similar. With the added stress of the season, the pressure to have everything “just right,” and a calendar full of extra obligations, I made a conscious decision to do something different.

As I stepped into caring for my family, I leaned deeply into my own self-care practices. Determined to stay well, I chose to step away from nonessential activities and extend myself grace with my to-do list. I simplified wherever I could and allowed myself to let go of what didn’t truly matter.

Simplifying life isn’t always easy, especially during the holidays when everything feels fast-paced and full. It’s easy to move from one activity to the next without ever pausing long enough to be present. Yet when I gave myself permission to slow down, something unexpected happened—my days began to feel more spacious. Time seemed to expand rather than contract, and I noticed how grounded and nourished I felt at the end of each day.

This experience reminded me of something important: self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. As women, we’re often conditioned to place ourselves last, believing that caring for others must come at the expense of our own well-being. What I discovered instead was that the more I cared for myself, the more fully I was able to show up for my family. We can prioritize our own health and still nurture and support the people we love.

So what did self-care look like during that time? I slowed down. I focused on nourishing meals. I moved my body each day through gentle walks and yoga, connecting with fresh air and my breath. I created moments of mindfulness and meditation to come back to myself. And most importantly, I gave myself permission to rest and sleep.

As we move into a new year, I’m reminding myself that these practices aren’t meant only for times of crisis. They’re a way of life. A way of honoring myself first, so I can be present, resilient, and connected for those I love. These daily rituals are acts of compassion—gentle reminders that my well-being matters, too. As you move into the new year, I invite you to pause and consider: where could you offer yourself a little more care, compassion, or rest this week? Let this be your reminder that you matter, too. If you’d like guidance in creating daily rituals that support your health and well-being, reach out to learn more about working together.